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The Autobiography of Nobody Important
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Stephen's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, November 24th, 2015
1:26 pm
If I were a caveman, I'd starve
On the heels of trying the latest in meal replacements, I decided to try a little more primitive food gathering method, i.e. deer hunting. I've been exactly once before, which was lovely, but I saw not a single thing.

I showed up at a friend's place on Friday night and got a few hours of sleep. He was kindly hosting and we were looking at getting up at 5am to try to beat the deer to the area. He put me up in a tree stand and I spent a couple of hours staring into the dark, trying to get my mind to quiet down. He went a little way down the property so I was on my own.

One thing about hunting is you realize how loud everything you do is. The wrappers from my Powerbars were like a roaring housefire. Every time I shifted, I was sure I might as well have dropped a tray of dishes. Of course, every squirrel and bird for a mile was in my ears as well, but I wasn't worried about them scaring off the deer.

Wearing a t-shirt, a long sleeved t-shirt, a thermal, a hoodie, and a blaze orange vest with matching hat, and I was still freezing. By the time it was full light, I was half convinced all the deer had gone on vacation. I began to wonder why exactly I had wanted to do this.

That was when the doe showed up.

She was pot bellied and had nary a care to give as she stood about ten feet from the end of my field of fire. I raised my rifle, didn't feel like I had a good bead on her, and suddenly had to contend with the hundred or so questions in my brain: is it okay to shoot, is it okay in this county to shoot does, what's past the critter?

The doe paused an looked in my direction. I should have been okay to take the shot, but I didn't feel sure. Plus, I suddenly felt giddy. It was a weird high. The combination of hesitation and surprise brain drugs led me to not take the shot at all, though, and thus I am not a mighty hunter this year.

Still glad I went. Just next time, I need to double check the rules and give myself permission to do what I came to do.

I won't forget this one, though.
Thursday, November 19th, 2015
5:06 pm
Day two: Experiment suspended
I was really, really spacey for the rest of the day after trying my first breakfast and lunch replacement of soylent. After a dinner of tacos, I was back to normal, but I was determined to try to press on.

Day 2, I brought some emergency food with me (Orange Juice for sugar, Doritos for salt, both of which might have been the cause of dizziness). I filled up my Soylent bottle and drank it a bit faster, finishing my breakfast by 10:30am.

I was still getting dizzy.

Poop.

I had my OJ with it and then some chips after, but neither were really helping. By lunch, I gave in and went and got some Wendy's.

For now, I think I have to suspend my Soylent experiment, alas. A guy at work is buying my second bag. I want to try again, but if I do, I will start when I've got some time off so that I don't get loopy at work and have quicker access to backup food. I also will experiment with flavoring. I'm hoping they come up with a version that as no sucralose in it, which this version does.

Sad, but carrying on.

Any suggestions for what potentially complicated life choice I should flirt with next?
Wednesday, November 18th, 2015
1:45 pm
Soylent: Day 1, first half - Little Spacey
So I decided I'd try Soylent. If you're reading this, first off... you know I post mostly to Facebook now, right? Second, if you're not familiar with Soylent, it's an all-in-one, you can live off this alone, meal replacement product that I've been interested in for about a year or so now. I finally got my hands on a couple of packs of it (I'd not been wanting to invest $50-80 yet just to experiment, found someone selling some they'd bought) and am trying to replace lunch and breakfast with it. I don't think I'll go totally Soylent, but 2/3 I could do.

First thing: Actually drink it.

I was told to sip and spread it out, but what I had portioned out of breakfast lasted me into lunch and I found I was a bit light headed. We'll see how the afternoon goes.

The tasted isn't bad, but it's not a flavor I'd choose off hand. Trying some cocoa powder in it next.

I'll have to see if I can keep a report up for the 4 days worth of supply I have :)

Peace.
Monday, May 2nd, 2011
1:17 am
Help get faekitty and me to DragonCon!
Hi guys... I have all but abandoned my LJ, but I still read my friend's page.

But why am I posting today:

There is a contest happening on Facebook: Post your best Epic Battle scene and if it gets the most votes for the week, you can repost it for the finals. There will be a total of 4 finalists; two slots are still open.

The grand prize is a trip for two to DragonCon, including passes and hotel.

Here is a link to my entry. It is an original creation entitled "Cookie Time".

If the link doesn't work, here is a link to Unicorn City's Facebook Page. It's listed there under my name, Stephen Bush.

If you have a Facebook account, please follow the link. Like it. If you're willing, spam it out to your friends. And if we make the finals, please be willing to do it again.

Get me and faekitty to DragonCon.

Thanks in advance.
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
2:41 pm
Thursday, December 9th, 2010
1:31 pm
Mortality and odd sensations
Around Thanksgiving, I was sitting in the living room and had a moment where my chest felt funny. I couldn't quite catch my breath, it felt like, even though I seemed to have no trouble breathing. I felt a little weak and dizzy and decided to stay sitting for a bit. The feeling persisted for awhile. It disappeared after a night's sleep but came back again the next day.

I started watching my body's sensations and noticed a few twinges in my left arm. At this point I wasn't sure if it was something I should be concerned about or if my mind was beginning to inform my body what symptoms I should display in order to get myself really good and scared. But I didn't go to the hospital or anything. I resigned I would if it persisted until that Monday. It didn't and I went about my merry way.

Until this past Sunday, a week and a half later. The feeling came back and I had definite numbness in my left arm and a pain in the left side of my neck when I stretched it. I still wasn't prepared to go to the hospital. I've felt all these sensations independently before, I have other things that could be causing them (a hernia in my diaphragm and new muscle tension from learning to play guitar). So I continued to not go to the doctor.

faekitty, however, was sufficiently freaked out that she suggested that I go if I still had it going on the next day and to use her new doctor who has proven not to suck. I was sufficiently freaked enough that I agreed. I woke up feeling fine, started having the symptoms later in the day, called the doctor and they made an appointment for me that day.

My blood pressure, blood oxygen level, pulse, breathing, EKG and throat XRays all appeared okay. I'm no Prilosec now for acid reflux and going back in a couple of Monday's for a check up.

I realize that I don't have absolute control over my mortality. I don't live such a crazy life that a heart attack at 39 would seem completely understandable but I also recognize that I'm not invulnerable either. I'm not afraid of dying as such but I'm in no hurry to make it happen. I still have a lot to do and being the procrastinator I am, I've just started doing alot of it.

This was a little freaky, but it was a reminder for me to get some stuff done. I've got a legacy to build still and I'm about 15 years behind where I'd like to be.
Friday, December 3rd, 2010
10:11 am
Need a movie sound clip, if anyone has it.
In my quest to find the most badass prayers and oaths in film history, I recently found this quote from the movie Flight of Dragons:

Blade with whom I have lived, blade with whom I now die, serve right and justice one last time, seek one last heart of evil, still one last life of pain, cut well old friend, and then farewell.

Anyone know where I can get this as an .mp3 or .wav?

Peace.
Thursday, December 2nd, 2010
10:53 am
Serious or Silly, I do both
Ask me something.

I then provide a video response.

And it's on the internet forever.

It's like Subservient Chicken but for normal people.
10:15 am
Dr. Who as explained by Craig Ferguson
Matt Smith appeared on Craig Ferguson's show recently. Apparently there was a musical opening that didn't make it on the air.

Thank god for YouTube.
Monday, October 11th, 2010
4:39 pm
What I'm doing for my birthday
Sunday the 17th, I turn 39.

I'm pretty sure 39 is the "hot sauce" birthday, so I'm planning on heading to Sharkey's in Radford to partake in their wing buffet. Maybe some tacos.

The time would be around 6:30. If anyone would like to join me, I'd love to see you there. Let us know so we can get a head count.

If you're Facebook enabled, I put the invite over here too.

Peace.
Monday, October 4th, 2010
4:31 pm
Transportation Inquiry
Question for anyone headed to Tiff's on Oct 31st: Anyone headed back to B'burg thereafter?

Shondra and I are looking at going to the Rally for Sanity with a group who would want to come back Sat night. We're trying to figure out if it's feasible to do that and come to Tiff's for things on Sun. That would mean finding a ride.

Let us know?

Peace,
Stef
Tuesday, September 28th, 2010
2:29 pm
*blows off the dust*
Hello one and all.

I haven't forgotten my LJ is here nor have I stopped reading. I have discovered that social media has stopped being the best way to get info to me, though.

That said, I'd like to prove that I'm still around:

Ask me something. Anything. I'll give an answer.

(Borrowed most recently from the excellent LJ personality onceupon, Anonymous questions allowed.)
Monday, September 20th, 2010
2:31 pm
4 months behind where I wanted to be, but....
Over the weekend, I finished the rewrite. 94100 words, give or take. And now, the editing.

And then, maybe some posting of substance here.
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
1:32 pm
They got 10's, but we got 20's. And ours are natural
So I posed this idea yesterday on Facebook and it got some positive response. Maybe even enough interest that it could happen... who would be up for posing for a "Girls who play D&D" calendar?

I know geeks. I know photographers. Let's do this.
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
10:44 am
Vanity, vanity... all is vanity
I have a bunch of grey/white hairs in my beard. I noticed them about a month ago. I'm a little surprised it took this long; people my same age and 5 years younger than me already sport the salt and pepper.

In and of itself, this is kind of cool. I like the idea of getting on in years in some ways, mostly in the hope that with age comes wisdom and wisdom is really cool. But there's a bizarre side effect that has occurred: I'm paying attention to my appearance more.

In general, I've never thought of myself as particularly vain. I'm not the most handsome guy in the world, even if I do think I'm okay lookin'. I used to say I ranked "cute" and as time goes on, I'm hoping that will translate into "distinguished". I've never taken a great deal of care with my appearance, just usually making sure most of the hair on my head is going in the same direction and is mostly clean. The occasional spray of deodorant is not uncommon for me, either.

But now, I have kind of started wishing that more hair on my head matched my beard. They seem a little incongruous and it would be nice if they were more in sync. I have no interest in shaving my whiskers but I'm not sure I want to dye them either. And besides, see previous statements about not thinking of myself as vain.

But if I'm not vain, why do I care?

I'm happy with the fact that I look mostly like I want to look. I could use a few more tattoos, but I like my hair and my features. I've been going to the gym semi-regularly of late (doctor's orders) and I'm seeing some effect on my love handles, which is spiffy. I'm just not sure how I'll react when the appearance changes more, as time and biology invariably dictate it will.

I worry that as time goes on, I'll start freaking out about my facade fading and that I'll hit some crisis that will be assuaged only by copious amounts of beauty products (applied too late) and a little nip and a tuck under the knife. I don't know that such a phase will invariably arrive, but I worry about it the same way I worry about being able to control my temper or how I worry that I've already reached my personal pinnacle of self-discipline and that anything after is on the down slope. If my body starts failing me, I'd rather be grateful for the time I've had it in good repair than to start clawing at the vestiges of youth.

For now, I try to keep a level head about it and accept the changes in my body for their novelty. I'm only 38 for crying out loud, there's no reason to be feeling old or decrepit just yet. I just hope that I can make good on the statements I've made that I'll grow old gracefully and accept myself however I appear.

But still, a creak in the bones here and the odd hair in a place I used to not have a hair reminds me that change is coming and I'm not sure how I'll meet that change. The uncertainty, I think, is perhaps more alarming than anything Mother Nature and Father Time might have in store.
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
11:42 am
Of Skeeball and Justifiable Infanticide
Crossposted from my Newsvine Column:

I often say that I'm not an adult, I'm a kid with a good budget and my own car. As such, certain activities often considered juvenile or "kiddy" entertain me. So when a friend said that he wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese's for his 30th Birthday, I was all about it.

Little did I know that with the span of a few hours, I would for the first time in my life walk out of place of amusement saying "Thank god I am out of there."

Warning, this got longCollapse )
Sunday, April 4th, 2010
1:07 am
FIGHT!!!

Flawless victory.
Monday, March 29th, 2010
2:49 pm
Anybody want to be ina video
Want to act all Scottish, wild and badass?

Want that seen in a relatively obscure band's video?

Then check this:
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
11:08 am
Identity
Two things happened in the past 48 hours that make me wonder if it's time for a makeover.

Item the first: I have a signature that I developed working as a hotel clerk and signing my name 12ity-5 times a night for six months. The result is almost a monogram, an "M" for Marshall, scrawled with a few bumps that should indicate "arshall S. Bush" and look a lot like a line.

It was suggested that maybe I change my signature.

Now, I know that my signature was different before this, but I've been signing my name like this for over 20 years, more than half the time I've known how to write my name. I thought part of the point was for it not to change.

But there is a point; my signature is illegible and if I do get off my duff and start publishing, my autograph would not exactly be exemplary.

Item the Second: The most common nickname I go by online is Lord Fluffy. Sir Alf only gets used here. I use Stormcrow or Lord Stormcrow in a few places. But I like Lord Fluffy. Despite beginning with an honorific, I don't feel like it's pretentious or overdone. I feel like it projects that I don't take myself overly serious and it's usually available on most forums and boards, so I can use it pretty much as I wish to.

But then I read an article on Fark.com this morning. And I didn't feel like I could respond to it.

See, Fark is the sort of place where you can get a lot of news, but for the love of the gods, don't read the comments. Otherwise you sort of show up for the info and then stay for the outrage.

The article in question deals with an unfortunate case in which a woman stabbed a man to death. She says she was in danger of being raped and took defensive action. The police say her story doesn't add up. She was in the woods with a guy to perform a Wiccan ritual and stabbed him with her athame. (I'll link the article, but read further before you go into the forum.)

The comments that came after were less than complimentary. Many responders consider all Wiccans to be attention whores and go on to describe pagans in a generally negative light, full of insults to our physique and disposition.

Wanting to be an ambassador for the polytheistic and demonstrably sane, I thought about posting a reply. What stopped me? I was waiting for the first jerk off to say something about my screen name.

Now in general, sticks and stones break my bones but words make me giggle at your impotence. But for some reason, especially as I'm trying to become more formal in my beliefs and practice (I'm starting to work with a regular group and kind of feel like my actions do and will represent them) I didn't feel like I needed a measure of credibility and describing myself thus might put a hitch in that.

So far I've said nothing, and while that's probably good for my sanity, I don't know if it's the Right Thing To Do (TM).

Between these two points, I'm wondering if it's time to change myself a tad. I'm still more or less the same person I was ten years ago. That's not a bad thing, but I don't know if I've progressed as a person the way I should or can or even want to. I don't feel like I'm living up to my potential and I'm not sure what the bridge from here to there is.

Making an effort to rebrand yourself can have some pretty significant effects; I know, I've done it a couple of times in my life. But those were major breaks with the past, not refinements of the present.

There's a lot going on in my head that needs sorting out. I'm doing things now (mostly in the department of worry) that I would have kicked my ass for a few years back. I'm too young for a mid-life crisis (math be damned) but I feel like I need to do something because the plodding pace I've been trying to improve my life at just doesn't seem to be gaining the results I'd like.

I don't know.

It's hard to tell when being yourself isn't really helping you and you need to be somebody else that looks a lot like you.
Thursday, March 18th, 2010
5:53 pm
A goodbye
I liked irana. I didn't use the opportunity I had to know her as well as I might have. I would never have called us close. But I'm still going to miss her.

She died two nights ago.

She was a very vibrant person in this life. The after life has no idea what it's got coming. She meant a lot to many people and I think that the world will be a bit poorer for her absence. She was not perfect, but she was okay. Some days, she was pretty awesome.

Here's wishing the best for those closer to her than I and especially her daughter.

May the gods guide her to where she wants and needs to be.
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